»Story time« ღ

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❝Call the doctor, call the doctor
Must be something wrong with me (oh-h)
He’s a monster, why do I want ya
Please tell me, please tell me
He’s a monster (aye)
He’s a monster (oh)
That boy, he’s a motherf*cking monster
But I love him, yeah I love him
Ooh ah, ooh ah ah♬❞

How I see demon guys

How_to_sketch_an_anime_boy_by_catluckey-d5t7jxm000 018c84c8899c9a6c00747a52e48fd8a5 139435 505106-1

Okay so in my mind this is how I have always pictured demons as.
Hot right? //Shot

❝He’s right, don’t start (no no)
‘Til you’re his own, form of art and (oh oh)
He’s doing his part
Cause he’s winning my heart (my heart)

There were no sparks (no no)
Just a gasoline fire burning through the dark and (oh oh)
He’s doing his part
Cause he’s winning my heart (my heart)♬❞

How demons REALLY look
Abraxas - Adramelech

An illustration of demon “Abraxas” and my personal favorite “Adramelech” ❤
Well it’s because my ex used to go by “ShadowAdrammelech”
or something like that and on final fantasy 12?
I think it was, I had to bust my butt to
capture Adramelech,
the only reason I even bothered to capture him
was because that was my ex (When we WERE together )
roleplay account name and I was
over hyping it. > . >

❝Is he human, does it matter
I know he’s what I’m after
I can reel him, from disaster
I know (I know)♬❞

Heres ff12 Adramelech
adramelech_by_lodritt

Meh, even though me and ShadowAdremmalech
broke up “One of the BEST things to ever happen to me
I still love my Adramelech and it will always remain
my favorite demon♥;

❝Call the doctor, call the doctor
Must be something wrong with me (oh-h)
He’s a monster, why do I want ya
Please tell me, please tell me
He’s a monster (aye)
He’s a monster (oh)
That boy, he’s a motherf*cking monster
But I love him, yeah I love him
Ooh ah, ooh ah ah (ah)♬❞

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Mmkay, so starting from 11 years old
I would always “wish
I was a demon.

(It’s okay you can laugh at my weirdness. =w=)

Then when I was 13
people actually labeled me as Demon
Not because I was evil or dark oooooorrrrrrrr
just I dunno cx

But it’s because of my eyes,
YES my eye’s.
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Apparently my eyes were black and soulless
whenever talking to people

they would not look me straight in the eyes
and I’d always wonder why
so when I asked they would tell me
because my eyes are so dark and eerie
they give off a mystery to them
they look soulless
and I actually liked that thought that.
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I was not bad or anything,
actually
I was the most friendly and compassionate person in school~
I was friendly to even meanies
I just could not bring myself to hate people~
So my friends would call me friendly demon.

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I’d constantly try to make peace amongst people
especially amongst my friends ❤
I was always so bubbly and silly,
people at school did not like me because of all my
positive energy~!

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“But it was just my eye’s..”

When looking at me
you’d see such a delicate face
but my eye’s,
you’d swear I was one of those mean girls.

My eye’s were a mystery for everyone
My eye’s were the reason why people just did not like me
Which was okay for me.

A demon has her enemies right?
So did I,
it made me feel great.

Also even though me myself am such a delicate person
and yet people would look up to me
I was the leader of my group of friends
they’d follow “Me.”

I even started to think I was a demon
my teachers would constantly praise me
saying how I was the smartest person in class.
How I was the nicest and friendliest student they have ever met.

My gym teacher simply loved me because I was the most flexible and athletically skilled
student he had.
People would argue to have me on their team.

I had older people compliment me a lot
for a 13 year old
I had the mind of a college student.

I was very intelligent for a young person
my age.

I felt like a demon because demons are able to do
basically anything.
I thought I was demon/human
because of my advanced abilities.
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Around 14-15 my mind started to go astray..
I was suffering with severe depression
and no one to help me
all of my family against me and I didn’t know why
That’s when I finally went too deep into it
and I embraced being a Demon…

I embraced being that mysterious spooky girl
who no one understood
who stayed in the dark
The darkness had become my ‘friend.’
dark_angel_by_moni158-d38xcq6
At 15 that’s when me and my retarded ex broke up
because he cheated on me, the prick.
Now that I had nobody
to love
I had nothing to lose
I completely embraced the darkness
I was convinced there was no ‘God’
I was |alone|.
My family treated me cruelly
I pushed me to the edge of either suicide or homicide.
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[ Brace yourself things are about to get even more dark * ^ * }
I began to read a book
It was a romance
And the first time I hard learned about incubus’s
A type of sexual demon
Something I should not be messing in
I looked up chants online
And studied about them
For I wanted a incubus boyfriend of my own
In return I would give him my body
Sounds like a simple price to pay right?
WRONG!
He’d continue to devour my life essence and soul until I was nothing.
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But I thought perhaps after we fell in love he wouldn’t
Because I learned that some people ended up
having happy relationships with their incubus lover
Suu love being my only means of escape from my dreadful life
Decided to do the chant
All lights had to be turned off and I had to be sitting in front of a huge mirror
With that I began to say the long chant I memorized
And as I did so
In order to make it work in the way I wanted it to
I had to close my eyes and picture how my ‘perfect’ demon boyfriend would look and whichever incubus I contacted would take on that form ~
But as I did I felt a presence in the mirror
It was a awful presence
It felt like pure evil and sent shivers down my spine
Fear eventually overcame me and I stopped
For a moment when I opened my eyes there was a dark figure
So I quickly did what the chant said if something like this happened
I quickly said the other chant to make it go away
And with that it was completely gone.

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❝And all the rain that falls on me in time
will not erase the pain
And all the world could ever see was lies
they can’t embrace the change
But there was a light that grew in me in time
my destiny awaits
To all of the darkness that confides in me
I’ll plant a seed, I’m a Neo Star❞

After that whole ordeal I just went numb
I eventually lost all feeling
Happiness, Nor sadness or even fear
I was completely empty
And the only person outside of me keeping me sane was a guy I had a strong crush on~
EVen though we barely spoke
He was the only thing I had to look forward to ; ^ ;
But even being empty wasn’t enough
I continued to get put down and treated horribly by my family
Mainly my mom and her boyfriend.
It was never ending…
And this had completely changed me to someone else
I was a completely whole new girl.
I had acquired multiple-personality disorder on a very strong level.
I laid dormant while another girl took control of me
At first we were at strong differences but eventually she was containing my sanity
and dealing with the hellhole I was put through.
I was both an angel & a demon.
That had become’me.’
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❝No weapon shall prosper against me
I am reborn
The stain of sin shall die within me
favor is worn
We will kill the king of darkness
He is the lost
Empowered by God who lives within me
I am the star❞

Eventually more and more personalities developed
My mind could no longer handle everything I was put through
And one day I snapped
For a moment
It felt like all my personalities had come back into one
and for once I was fully conscious
There weren’t parts of my life and memory missing
With that I finally ran away from the hellhold I was living in
I ran a looong way on my own
In the freezing cold
No coat
And no asthma inhaler for a asthma
I felt myself blacking out
But I pushed forward into a got into a store where I could callasp
And it was at the moment I finally got an idea of who I truly was
I wasn’t just “me” anymore.
There multiple other “me” male & female.
Evil & Good.
Demons &
Angels.
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Now that I was ‘many’ my depression and darkness could no longer
define me.
Finally at age 16 I met the love of my LIFE.
He suggested naming my depression
Because my depression was not me
and he was the only person who could understand that.
So my depression became its own separate demon.
I named it “Iblis”
Iblis followed me everywhere
trying to depress me
trying to bring me down
but I was determined to not let that demon win.
I started taking anti-depressants up until the middle of age seventeen.
By then my life was getting better and I was way out of the demon phase.
I was all into religion.
But I still had my multiple personalities.
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I happily embraced the fact that I was ‘Different’
No…
I was ‘Unique’ ❤
I had multi personalities
But I was finally happy
I knew that demons were bad
and I lived to serve as an ‘Angel’
But more like a ‘fallen angel’
I seen myself as an angel that had lost her way ~
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Before the year was over however
I had gotten convinced that Ghod nor the Devil
Existed and that it was our spirituality that shaped the course of our lives.
This sounded much more appealing and realistic to me.
Also that ‘spirits’ exist.
I was hoping I had my own spirit looking over me
I tried to contact ‘them’ and sure enough I had a dream.
My woman spirit came and visited me
She showed me things
Darkness and light
That we basically shape who our ghods are
Who we CHOOSE to believe
It is our light and dark energy that creates our ‘Angels’
And ‘demons’
She was my spirit
She told me if I attracted evil then evil would come
If I attracted good then good would come
The universe feeds off of our thoughts and feelings
This was the ‘law of attraction’
And that I am whatever I ‘think’ I am.
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At 8teen I finally know who I am
I am neutral.
I embrace the light & the dark for what they are.
I am both light and dark.
I believe in religion.
I also believe there’s a hell.
Although both are not certain.
So what is real and what isn’t?
What is right to believe in and what isn’t right?
Only ‘we’ can shape our lives and what we choose to believe in.
I am Hana.
I am light & dark.
I am happiness & sadness.
I believe in the bible and tarot/readings.
I am me.
I am what makes me happy.

(( Under more construction. ))

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2 thoughts on “»Story time« ღ”

  1. YourLove said:

    OLIVEJUICE

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